Three weeks ago, on a Tuesday night, word flew all over the internet about the impending announcement of Phish’s return to touring. Wednesday, October 1^st, it came to fruition. I’ve got to say, I was barely able to keep my seat at work that day. The excitement of a kid who just learned about Christmas comes to mind. Only bigger. Imagine if, at six years old- when Christmas is the biggest freakin day of the year- someone told you that Christmas was going to happen 20 times in the next year.

Bigger than that.

This is one of those, “if you know; then you know,” sort of things. If you don’t get it, it probably seems a little ridiculous.

But, it’s not.

Phish is coming back.

The implications of the reunion are broad. In 2004, as they played their final shows, it was stated repeatedly that this wasn’t like the previous “hiatus”. This was for real. This time it was for keeps. Problem is, the shows were abysmal. The near-toxic combination of drug addictions and depression hit members of the band; Trey in particular had been having a difficult year onstage (and, it was later confirmed, off.) The missed notes, flubbed cues, etc,  made it all the more depressing that not only were we not going to see these guys again, but we had already lost them. Phish, as we knew it, was already gone.

In retrospect, that may have softened the blow. One could justify the loss as being “for the best.”

But now, despite their previous statements, Phish is returning to the stage. Trey has come through to the other side of a painful and public ordeal with a drug arrest and rehab. They’ve all explored solo projects (Mike Gordon’s recent tour garnered very positive reviews from the fanbase and Trey’s current solo tour is getting rave reviews) and, it would seem, they are intesested in being a band again. The question is, are they out for redemption and a new lease on life? Or are they reaching for dollars and nostalgia? 

As a fan, I’m hoping for the former.

When Phish played what was their final song, I, like so many fans, was extremely sad. Not just because they weren’t able to play my favorite song correctly (that did not help!) but because I felt as if a chapter of my life had just been closed forever. Getting into parenthood early, I did not spend as much time on the road with Phish as many of my like-minded friends. For me, Phish became a long weekend, once or twice a year; sometimes close to home, sometimes not. Their music connected these ‘weekends’ to earlier points in my life like beads on a string. The end of Phish’s touring career meant the end of that string. Listening to a show on cd or watching it on dvd can never supplant the actual, visceral, live experience.

Now, as I see it, that chapter cannot be reopened. The past is past. But a future with Phish shows is a pretty good future, indeed.

In March, when the lights go down on the first show back, I’ll be there.