First Shows

My daughter, Althea, will be three-years-old this summer and she started seeing hearing shows in the womb. Phish, to begin with, during the first trimester in Fall '95. Then, Gov't Mule in the second trimester (you've never felt a fetus wiggle so much!). Next was Further Festival '96 at Nissan Pavilion at the end of the third and just before she was due. Mickey Hart & Mystery Box spawned some pre-natal somersaults and even a couple of random contractions! 24 hours later, little Althea Eliza greeted the world.

Naturally that event changed my life. In order to provide for my daughter, I traded my touring and record store job for a 9-5. I saw almost no shows for the first year and then only due to the kindness and helpfulness of a few wonderful (and now publicly thanked) babysitters.

My first ever concert was The Grateful Dead. I was 16 years old and ecstatic, having been an avid listener of The Dead for several years. My life changed at RFK Stadium on June 14, 1991 and several things come to mind when I think of that day.

The first thing is a memory of another day, years earlier, as my Mom picked me up from the mall. Upon spotting my purchase, "Dylan & the Dead" she asked, "You're not going to become a Deadhead, are you?"

"No, Mom. I'm not. This is a Dylan album. The Dead just play the music..."

Such a liar.

The second thing is when, during "Row Jimmy" at my first show, I hit upon my first notable and true 'Peak Moment' of my life. From that point onward I have been both a Deadhead (Sorry, Mom.) and an insatiable addict to live, improvised music.

I, of course, don't see either of these things as being bad. Traveling around the country and seeing shows of all kinds has influenced, shaped and, educated me in ways that can never be fully detailed. (Although it did conflict a bit with my formal college education.) Being an improvisational music lover has been very spiritually fulfilling as well. This is why I am raising my daughter with the music that fills my life.

The thing is, as much as I love shows and live music and have wanted to share these experiences with my daughter, I never felt that either of us was ready. I didn't know if I could handle taking that responsibility with me into a show. Would I be resentful or unhappy about having to tend to her needs rather than dance my ass off? Would she dislike the show, grow tired or cranky and need to leave? And, were these even reasonable fears, or was I being selfish and irrational?

Now, as Althea approaches her third birthday, I've put those fears aside. Recently (5/16/99), in Richmond, VA, Althea saw her first show. Medeski, Martin & Wood opening for The Roots.

We arrived early for the Sunday afternoon, outdoors show, spread out a blanket and settled in for the day. On top of all the snacks, drinks, and trips to the potty, Althea, my girlfriend and I danced our asses off. Althea had a blast and so did we. By the time we made our way onto the highway, as the afternoon faded into night, she drifted to sleep in the car seat; exhausted.

I was tired too. We made more trips to the bathroom during that show than I would during an entire tour of shows by myself. But I was happy. And I'm still happy with the knowledge that Althea will grow up having at least started out right; seeing the kind of shows that matter. I'll tell her about that show for years and- fifteen years from now- when her friends ask what her first concert was, she'll say, "The Backstreet Boys".

Oh, well.

You can raise 'em right but they'll still turn left.

© 1999- JMH

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About the Author
jmh is a family man who is thankfull for beer, LPs, and extra guitar 
strings.  Donations of any of these things or cash for their purchase will 
be happily accepted.